Even though we have only completed 2 weeks of fantasy football, it’s about time we review some of the most glaring instances where a supposed stud fantasy player has underperformed so far this season. We will offer up some sound fantasy football advice although if you are a serious fantasy footballer (I swear Namejko uses this terminology) you probably need professional counseling as consecutive double digit losses are negatively affecting your personal relationships (mostly with wives/girlfriends) by now. In this article I will outline whether or not you are justifiably neglecting your girlfriend (joking…sort of…) because your mind is fixated on your bad luck, Monday morning quarterbacking your draft and most importantly, how you can rebound to finish 7th in a 12 team league! Moral victories are still victories right?!!?

I will use an informal ranking system on the severity of panic you should be experiencing right now. Please adjust yours as necessary.

Jamal Charles / Kansas City Chiefs

Panic Level: Instant Head Explosion.

Even before high first round pick Jamal Charles went down, all signs from Kansas City were pointing to Charlie Weis’ departure doing more than just damage to hot dog sales at Arrowhead stadium. Their offense looks terrible and now their best player is done for the year. The other side of the ball also looks terrible and Eric Berry, their best player defensively, is out for the year. Matt Cassel is predictably regressing from his incredible 2010 campaign where he threw against horrible defenses.

What does all that mean? One, Kansas is going to suck a lot this year. Two, the fantasy value of everyone on Kansas City will suffer. You saw glimpses of this in week 1 where Jamal Charles and company were shut down by the Buffalo Bills…at home…by the same Buffalo Bills who gave up the fifth most points per game last year. So for all you Dexter McCluster, Thomas Jones, and Matt Cassel owners, be ready for more disappointment. Only Bowe may benefit with added targets but when defenses know you are going to throw, they usually do pretty well in stopping the throw. Give him a few more starts before throwing in the towel. I think he’ll reward owners who don’t drop him.

And finally, for all you Jamal Charles owners, relax, it’s just a game (only for those who have no chance of winning! By the way, if you haven’t noticed by now, I like using parenthesis). On a side note, look to take advantage of how bad the Chiefs are. Start everyone playing against them starting this week with Tolbert and San Diego’s D.


Arian Foster

Panic Level: “I’m pretty sure it’s yours.”

I think this is an apt comparison (and not the least bit inappropriate) because not knowing whether you are about to be a father to a girl you met in Cancun is worse than knowing, regardless of the outcome. Right now Kubiak and Foster are toying with Foster fantasy owners. He’s fine, he’s just fatigued, he’s out, he’s the starter, he’s splitting carries, etc. Foster owners just need closure! Because Foster pushed his return he probably suffered a setback against the Miami Dolphins. Unfortunately he probably felt that he needed to play in week 2 because Ben Tate is looking like the talented big play back everyone thought he would be before his season ending ankle injury last year.

Now Foster will most likely be forced into an equal time share in a best case scenario. That is a lot of uncertainty for poor Brent’s heart. I think he actually managed to draft Foster 8 times this year. And he’s only in 5 leagues! You figure it out…Kubiak and Foster should do what’s best for everyone and shut it down completely for 3 weeks with the promise that he will regain the starting role upon his return. Hamstring injuries always recur if it isn’t completely healed. I should know. My pulled hammy was 100% responsible for my JV baseball OPS dip from .564 to .524 during my junior year. In the meantime, look to grab Tate on waivers (although probably too late) or grab him with an early season trade. If you are willing to capitalize on someone else’s misfortune (one of the tenants a capitalistic society), try to deal for Foster (Kenny Britt or Mike Wallace types). You may find the Foster owner susceptible to a slightly unbalanced trade.

Chris Johnson

Panic Level: Marty McFly in a busted Delorean.

You are feeling nervous. Marty is feeling nervous. Doc Brown is a nervous nelly all the time. But deep down, you, me, Marty and Doc trust Doc’s math and the engineering of an automobile whose namesake eventually dabbled in cocaine importing. In other words, you are nervous now, but everything will be ok. 88 mph will be reached, Doc will anticipate the Libyans’ attack, and Jennifer will get her precious trip to the lake (man she was selfish). Chris Johnson will start producing. Kenny Britt will move defenses to nickel and dime packages. Relax, things will be back to normal real soon and with any luck, the guy who constantly talks fantasy smack in your league will be washing your 2004 Hyundai…If you want Johnson, try to buy low right now with someone like Michael Turner or a combo of decent backs like Bradshaw and James Starks.

Shonn Greene, DeAngelo Williams, Felix Jones, Knowshon Moreno

Panic Level: “Honey, I needed that money because there was no way the Lions would cover that spread against the Chiefs!”

In other words, you’ve drafted them before and you’ve gotten burned by them before. You just haven’t learned your lesson and strayed far from these habitual underachievers. Unfortunately, with the dearth of running backs in today’s committee backfields, you may not have had much of a choice on draft day (at least that’s what I tell myself when I end up with one of these guys. Hey, whatever lets you sleep at night). Out of all these guys, I think Shonn Greene has the most upside. This time last year LT was earning 20 points per game with a lot more in PPR but he will not do that this year (else we’ll instill a higher panic level than “head explosion” 2 weeks from now). He also doesn’t get injured with the frequency of these other three. With all of that to process (actually it’s not much, you probably knew what you were in for), you should look to pick up J. Stewart, D. Murray and W. McGahee as respective handcuffs. If you frequently come to fantasysmacktalk.com you’ve probably already done that.

Bottom-line, look for some depth at RB and hope a flyer gets hot or a starter gets seriously injured, allowing your guy to produce. Other options are Roy Helu, Delone Carter, Kendall Hunter, Deji Kareem, Brandon Jacobs, Daniel Thomas, Darren Sproles, Michael Bush. You get the point. Take a shot on the waiver wire and pray for an injury. With any luck, God or Junior will have the same backup RBs as you.

Indianapolis Colts

Panic Level: Arch Duke Ferdinand has just been assassinated.

While you can certainly find replacements for Peyton Manning, Dallas Clark, Reggie Wayne, Austin Collie and Joseph Addai, the incredible collapse of one of the most consistent teams of the past 12 years is worth describing with a panic level. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, here is a brief overview. Arch Duke Ferdinand is assassinated on June 28th, 1914. World War 1 begins. I feel like the Colts are the world and Peyton is Arch Duke. In other words…not good for the Colts.